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Top 100 Love Quotes

Funny Quotes

Found 608 quotes in the topic of Funny .
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"The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!? - Calvin and Hobbes"
Bill Watterson
Funny Quote of the Day
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"You know what we can be like: See a guy and think he's cute one minute, the next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see him having an extramarital affair. By the time someone says "I'd like you to meet Cecil," we shout, "You're late again with the child support!""
Cynthia Heimel
Cute Funny
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Mark Twain
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"God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage"
Mark Twain
Funny Quote of the Day
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"The best husband in the world is an archaeologist because the more his wife get older the more he get interested."
Author Unknown
Funny Love
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"Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me. "
Funny Love
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"No woman ever shot her man while he was doing dishes."
Author Unknown
Funny Love
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Laurence J. Peter
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"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."
Laurence J. Peter
Funny Quote of the Day
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"Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it"
Kin Hubbard
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Jerry Seinfeld
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
Jerry Seinfeld
American Comedian Editor's Pick Funny Quote of the Day
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"Love is blind because people fall in love with their eyes closed."
Author Unknown
Funny Love
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Shel Silverstein
"When the light turns green, you go.When the light turns red, you stop.But what do you do when the light turns blue with orange and lavender spots?"
Shel Silverstein
Cute Funny
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"Don't tell your friends about your indigestion. "How are you" is a greeting, not a question."
Arthur Guiterman
American Comedian Friendship Funny Quote of the Day
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"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."
Author Unknown
Funny Quote of the Day
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"Love is the game in which both the players win."
Author Unknown
Funny Love
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"when you grow a pear you can call me back <3
"
Funny Love
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"[Watching a baby being born] is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door."
Jeff Foxworthy
Babies Funny Quote of the Day
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George Carlin
"Atheism is a non-prophet organization"
George Carlin
Atheism Funny Quote of the Day Short
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"Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it."
Author Unknown
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Oscar Wilde
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"It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind one's back, that are absolutely and entirely true."
Oscar Wilde
Funny Gossip Quote of the Day
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"Dyslexic satan worshipers think they're worshipping Santa."
Justine Vogt
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Bill Cosby
"Gray hair is God's graffiti"
Bill Cosby
Funny Quote of the Day
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Bob Marley 1945-02-06

Bob Marley
"Overcome the demons with a thing called love."

Bob Marley, widely regarded as Jamaica's most talented and far-reaching musician, could aptly be described as a reggae evangelist. His devotion to Rastafarianism is a mainstay of his songs, reflecting a lifestyle of religious devotion and a talent for inspired vocals. Many Bob Marley quotes are simple, catchy lyrics of thoughtful encouragement. "Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living?" Bob Marley quotes enlighten us with his strong principals and joyful philosophy. A victim of cancer at the age of 36, his legacy lives on both in his family of musicia…

Bob Marley Quotes

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