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American Comedian Quotes

Found 3,004 quotes in the topic of American Comedian Quotes .
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Robin Williams
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"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."
Robin Williams
American Comedian American Comedian Quotes Funny God Quote of the Day
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Robin Williams
"Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus."
Robin Williams
American Comedian Quotes
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Robin Williams
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose."
Robin Williams
American Comedian Quotes
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Robin Williams
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams
American Comedian Quotes
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Robin Williams
"Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money."
Robin Williams
American Comedian Quotes
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Robin Williams
"You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks."
Robin Williams
American Comedian Quotes
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Robin Williams
"I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you."
Robin Williams
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Robin Williams
"If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?"
Robin Williams
American Comedian Quotes
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Sarah Silverman
"I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core."
Sarah Silverman
American Comedian Quotes
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Sarah Silverman
"But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough."
Sarah Silverman
American Comedian Quotes
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Sarah Silverman
"I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it."
Sarah Silverman
American Comedian Quotes
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Sarah Silverman
"They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle."
Sarah Silverman
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Robin Williams
"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
Robin Williams
American Comedian American Comedian Quotes Comedy Funny Quote of the Day
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Robin Williams
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"
Robin Williams
American Comedian Quotes
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Robin Williams
"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
Robin Williams
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Robin Williams
"Carpe per diem - seize the check."
Robin Williams
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Robin Williams
"Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams
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Robin Williams
"Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!""
Robin Williams
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Rodney Dangerfield
"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife."
Rodney Dangerfield
American Comedian Quotes
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Robin Williams
"Reality: What a concept!"
Robin Williams
American Comedian Quotes
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.
"I don't weigh a pound over one hundred and eighty and, what's more, I never did."
Fatty Arbuckle
American Comedian Quotes
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